First of all falling in love with you wasn't that Grateful at all.
From the very beginning I said to myself, I would not fall for you. Somehow when days goes on and on......feeling the way you Tad myhead, the hugs we been through and the conversations we been through....Though you seldom response much in the conversation but everyword was like pamperation to me.
Mayb to you it was just Customer Service and I was just a Nagging Client who is not gonna give you any profit which annoys you..
I may sometimes do particular stuffs which is out of control. You got annoyed and pissed and I cried out of nothing. But it is because of I love you that makes me lose control sometimes.
When the time before I got any serious yet, you were so sweet and caring. We mingling around each other and that does not at all bring sadness. Thought through it, I felt it was all my fault who brought things to be serious and make you got what I mean and what you did was........clicked on the reject button and told me that you doesnt mean to hurt me.
Life goes on..... where I built walls around my heart and then you just tremble it all like no one's business.
You joke to me you love me, I was half happy half clueless, cause I knew that wasn't true and I just dont want to know that it wasn't true at all. I dont have the feeling of facing the fact.
But by the time I am not, the Fact just goes right infront of my face and forces me to accept it by poking needles into my heart and tears just rolls down my cheek and days went gloomy. You know that I am such a Fool thats why you were bored and you fool me with that.
If now you fool me with that again, I would just have tell you this "Fuck off mylife!!!! Go get a Fucking life of yours!!!"
You have empty out my love until it's all gone...But my feelings for you still shows. You made me so confuse that I should hate you or miss you? should I slap you or hug you?
Sometimes I just sit by and think of something and all I thought was the soul who has disappeared infront of me, who has lost his way back, who used to be who he is which is not wht he is now.
Above maybe only words, but there are aloads of feelings burried underneath. It is pretty clear that I have already wrote out the reason of loving you til now. Nomatter how much you been hurting me and how many times you been fooling me.
Seeing you been so emo lately makes me felt even worst! I guess you are in the situation I been before. It felt awwful right???
I had always wished...............
- I wish I could be the one who can cheer you up but that wasnt me.
- I wish I could give the world to you but mylove is all I have to give ,
- I wish I was the one you picked but somehow you were the one I chose,
- I wish you were my hope, yes you are but you always took it back,
- I wish I could bring you laughter but everytime I tried my best you werent responding and
- I wish you were all I needed but you are not, I'm not what you want either.
Glanzing at your page everyday, gazing at the profile picture filled with the flawless girl who you love made me felt underrestimated.
And it made me let go off something I wouldnt want to, cause I have learnt that it wasnt meant to be.
Seeing her gorgeous look comparing to myself, I know why I dont even stand the slightest position in your heart.
throught my eyes you really can see how much I love you, adore you, hearts you, need you, and how much you mean to me. ♥ps: hopefully that you're reading myblog.
